“Please Report Any Unwelcome Behavior to Your Flight Attendant”

Just after I asked my wife, “Do you remember when <unnamed airline> flight attendants used to sound happy?” (and she confirmed they no longer do)…

The flight attendant on the overhead wrapped up her spiel with, “Please report any unwelcome behavior to your flight attendant.” I’m sure I’d be told it’s cause we passengers have been becoming more unruly, but seriously?

Yeah, just what we need you to do: encourage more Karens. And, what exactly is unwelcome behavior?

All I can say is that governments and airlines have removed all joy I had in flying.

How? By continually “enhancing” perfectly good airports (meaning perpetual construction to avoid and “temporarily” closed amenities…with no net benefit), replacing great chain restaurants with “local” options, adding rule-upon-rule for our “safety,” and making the right job title for “flight attendants” now “flight enforcers.” (My favorite thing, landing yesterday, was an attendant telling me I could still use my iPad Pro, but had to take the keyboard case off it. Minor, but indicative.)

Well, it is time to take off. She said, “Enjoy your flight.” How? You are no longer “with” us. You are “over” us.

And, you sound unconvincing. You probably could care less, other then how our lack of enjoyment might affect your time babysitting us.

I remember when you and compadres sounded happy…and like you wanted us happy. Some of you were regular comedians…and good at it! That, in great measure, is why I always fly this airline. What happened to you?!

But, my guess is travel is more miserable for you too, and I’ll do my best to not add to it.

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