All posts tagged Humor
Want to See How Hard I Exercise?
Earlier this year I became a member of The Athlete District, and I just uploaded this video to have them check my form. (They are on vacation this week, so we have to do exercise at home.)
This will give you an idea of just how intense the workouts are:
(Cross-posted on my AI: Alan Intelligence blog.)
“Linus Van Pelt Banned from Community Theater For Reciting Bible Verse”
Related?
Am I the only one who thinks the Alfred E. Neuman and Donald Trump Funko Pops are strikingly similar? 🙂
Goals
COVID-19 “Amnesty”?
Galactic Empire Requests Amnesty For Anyone Who May Have Gotten Carried Away And Blown Up A Planet
Acknowledging past decisions that, while well intended, were destructive, and learning a ragtag team of rebels might win again, the Galactic Empire has proposed amnesty for anyone who may have gotten a little carried away and blown up several planets.
“Somebody Had to Say It” Comedy Special by Jim Breuer
Not only is Jim Breuer a hilarious comedian, he’s actually somebody who has been brave during the pandemic. Recently, I saw he posted an entire comedy special on YouTube. Sadly, I cannot embed it here, but you can watch it directly on YouTube.
Wassup?!
I introduced my youngest to this classic commercial this morning:
Tiktaalik
Although a lot of the article was “could be’s” masquerading as facts, it was interesting nevertheless:
Started Out as a Fish. How Did It End Up Like This?
A meme about the transitional fossil Tiktaalik argues that although we did come out of the sea, we aren’t doing just fine.
And here is an example of a Tiktaalik-inspired meme:
Mother’s Day Humor
Hat tip to Ace of Spades HQ for this one…
Colorado’s Four Seasons
“Around here we joke that Colorado’s four seasons are Snow, Mud, Fire, and Construction.”
– Stephen Green (@VodkaPundit)
🙂
P.S. Glad to know I live in the same state Stephen. Greetings from the high plains!
— Alan Fahrner 🎙 (@JegErAlan) April 25, 2022
Happy Friday Thoughts
Count Dracula was 412 when he moved to England in search of new blood.
Sauron was 54,000 years old when he forged The One Ring.
Cthulhu had seen galaxies flare into life and fade to darkness before he put madness in the minds of men.
It's never too late to follow your dreams!
— Angry Robot (@angryrobotbooks) April 17, 2021
“Roman Soldier Assigned To Guard Tomb Of Some Jewish Carpenter Looking Forward To Uneventful Weekend”
Roman Soldier Assigned To Guard Tomb Of Some Jewish Carpenter Looking Forward To Uneventful Weekend
Local Roman soldier Plinius was given his guard assignment for the weekend and was delighted to see he’d been entrusted with guarding the tomb of ‘some Jewish carpenter guy,’ as he’d be able to get some shut-eye and have a nice, relaxing weekend.Plinius pumped his fist and gave a little…
You Mean It Says…?
You mean it says we should never have allowed women to vote?
This right here says it all pic.twitter.com/yq2Ztw7YJ3
— Mauty480 (@Mauty480) April 10, 2022
I’M JUST KIDDING!!!
I Miss Ronald Reagan
Ronald Reagan seemed like a genuinely nice guy, and boy he could tell a joke. 🙂
Hat tip: Not the Bee.
Eerp…
Putin Receives Nobel Prize In Medicine For Ending COVID Pandemic
After serious deliberations deep inside the super-secret Nobel Prize Compound in Switzerland or wherever, the Nobel committee of medicine deciders have awarded the coveted Nobel Prize in Medicine to Russia’s President Vladimir Putin for singlehandedly ending the COVID pandemic practica…
Important Tweet Thread to Read
A quick thread on in the importance of being careful what data you share – even if you're the Queen. Today, Her Maj tweeted this lovely picture, gor bless er, etc. You might think that the contents of the red box would be official business. And you'd be right. 1/6 pic.twitter.com/y1RspNRUzy
— Adam Kay (@amateuradam) February 6, 2022
Okay, this Is Funny
Biden Promises To Replace Retiring Quarterback Tom Brady With A Woman Of Color https://t.co/ZzV3zPS2jJ
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) January 30, 2022
Sunday Is Almost Here Folks!
Credit for this joke to Ace of Spades HQ
Sunday is almost here folks! 🙂
P.S. Joke in text form for the visually impaired:
WKRP Turkey Drop
The funniest “Turkey event” ever:
A “Perfect” Comedy Sketch
This is what I would describe as a perfectly executed comedy sketch (profanity warning):
Key & Peele are extremely talented…and this is my favorite sketch by them (“Substitute Teacher”).
Eerp…
NFL Removes All Coaches, Players, Fans Who Have Ever Said A Bad Word, Only Tim Tebow Remainshttps://t.co/RjpkAbFYY8
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) October 14, 2021
Okay, this is funny…
FBI seized ‘fully constructed’ US Capitol Lego set from home of alleged rioter
The FBI seized a “fully constructed” Lego set of the U.S. Capitol from the home of an alleged insurrectionist.
“Let’s review the entry plan: enter through the southeast door, walk three foursies then turn left, two threesies then right…”
— DarkAdapted (@DarkAdapted) July 8, 2021
Hat tip to Instapundit.
P.S. And no, I am not saying illegal activities on January 6 in D.C. were funny.
Update:
This made me chuckle:
Full disclosure, there’s a fully assembled Death Star in my house. https://t.co/Myzt9SnqKU
— Tim Wood 🇺🇸⚔️ (@TimOnPoint) July 7, 2021
Update (July 12, 2021):
F-15s and Nuclear Weapons
Yesterday, President Biden regrettably tried to argue against perceptions that the 2nd Amendment is also so we can protect ourselves from the government, noting it would be futile since we would never be allowed to buy all the arms the military has. You know, like F-15s and nuclear weapons.
Although I think it disingenuous to claim Biden was threatening to use either against U.S citizens, it was a dopey enough thing to say to warrant a ribbing. 🙂
Huge Spike In Americans Buying F-15s After Biden Suggests You’ll Need Them To Overthrow Government
U.S. - The nation scrambled to buy F-15s and nuclear weapons after President Biden said in a speech Wednesday that you’ll never beat a government unless you have the fighter jets and intercontinental ballistic missiles.All over the nation, American citizens were seen parking their brand-new F-15s in…
Jibberish Joe Announces Crime Prevention Program for Chicago Inner-City Violence by Eliminating Gang Access to F-15 Fighter Jets and Nuclear Weapons - The Last Refuge
Apparently the White House and pearl-clutching media cannot draw a parallel between undermining/defunding law enforcement and massive increases in crime throughout the country.
Please ignore the over-the-top wording of the second article (which I do not approve of)…I just thought the title was funny. 🙂
BTW, I am in agreement with those who believe that the 2nd Amendment includes being able to defend ourselves from governments. Just think about what led to the American Revolution and, if that’s not enough, check out Article 10 in the New Hampshire’s Constitution’s Bill of Rights: Read More
Okay, this is funny…
This TikTok has me absolutely dead pic.twitter.com/VszU4GNuBS
— jordan orris (@Jordan_Orris) June 19, 2021